While doing my morning routine today, the thinking mind was strong. My thoughts were racing, the yoga flow I was doing felt half-assed, and there were emotions I needed to release.
Over the last few days, I’ve had some major shifts with clients, and I am inspired every day by their hearts and desire to evolve. As they evolve and heal, the areas where I can invest even more in my own growth are reflected back to me.
As I come into this next season of my journey, emerging from the chrysalis phase of metamorphosis like a butterfly leaving the cocoon, I am able to show up and serve more fully, more powerfully.
How did I do this?
It is because I have taken the time and care to show up compassionately and unwaveringly for myself.
Everything that I am able to give to my clients and the world, I have already given to myself.
As we release and grow, heal and expand, the Universe starts bringing our awareness to the shadows in our subconscious mind that still need to be brought into the light of consciousness.
Our challenges arise not to bring us down or make us revert to smallness, but instead to serve as an open invitation to rise and grow into our power.
The more powerful and present we become along our journey, the quicker the challenges seem to arise.
Because we are ready to accept these challenges as blessings. We are ready to take the torch of our own self-healing magic into the darkest caverns of our psyche.
And make allies of our demons.
The demon that came up for me today was unchecked anger and rage.
Being a fire sign, an Aries no less, anger was very prevalent in my early childhood. By the time I became a teenager, the unchecked anger had darkened into full blown rage and hatred.
We often like to demonize anger, and see it as something to be avoided.
“Anger is unacceptable.”
“Anger means you are a bad person.”
“Anger is shameful.”
“Anger means weakness because you have lost control of yourself.”
By the time I was in my early 20’s, I had suppressed all this anger so deeply that I thought (erroneously) that I was no longer an angry person. What I didn’t realize was that I had buried all the accumulated, trapped anger deep within the confines of my subconscious mind.
I had so deeply rejected the part of me that experienced anger that whenever anger would rise up in my chest and face, I could no longer identify it as an emotion.
I may have claimed to be done with anger, but anger sure was not through with me.
And it continued to manifest in unpredictable ways.
My relationship with anger only began healing when several years back, I began to shift my perspective about anger and challenge my existing beliefs about anger being “negative”.
Anger as an emotion has such a crucial role to play.
All emotions are important messengers from the body, alerting us to new information and inviting us to adjust accordingly.
The role of anger is to lift us from the state of powerlessness.
On a vibrational frequency level, anger is a higher frequency of 150 Hz, than fear (100 Hz), apathy (50 Hz), and shame (20 Hz).
Anger holds the power of emotional transmutation and provides fuel for changes to be made. Anger lifts us from feeling stuck and small, into taking action to shift our reality.
As a protector emotion, anger is the masculine shield protecting us from deeper layers of the lower frequency emotions.
In most cases, there is an underlying emotion stemming from core wounds that are coming up for healing and release.
So this morning when anger came up for me, I paused, and became very present with it.
I welcomed the anger as a friend, and held space for it to be experienced and released.
As I sat with it, the underlying emotion of fear began to unveil itself to me.
Fear of not being good enough. Fear that this life I’m living is too beautiful and wonderful to last. Fear that I’ll make mistakes and “fail”. Fear that I’ll lose everything that I’ve built so far.
And I recognized that this fear stemmed from a core wound I had in childhood that led me to create the limiting belief that failure is unacceptable because it means I am unlovable.
After processing all this, I took a deep breath, and let it all go.
I allowed the anger to move through me and leave my body by kicking my own ass with a brutal core workout.
You see, all emotions are Energy in Motion (e-motion). When we suppress these, they become energetic blockages in our system, and we begin to feel heavy and stuck.
When we open our Hearts and allow these energies to flow through us, we will find that they naturally evolve from one state to another.
Especially if we allow our physical forms to facilitate this transmutation.
All we need to do is to be present enough with our emotional landscape to gift them the space to do so.
When we can do this and allow the internal shifts to unfold, the entire reality around us will too, begin to shift.