Heal The Wounded Maiden To Become Empowered In Your Womanhood

Calling all my Queens! 

Are you ready to heal the Wounded Maiden and open into the full bloom of the Mother? 

As women we move through three major seasons of life – the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. 

Understanding these archetypes separately and drawing wisdom from the integration of the three is key to opening to our fullest wild feminine magic. 

The Maiden archetype is the self that is embarking on the journey of self discovery – venturing into the underworld for the process of self initiated metamorphosis. 

At her core, the Maiden is fiercely independent, untamed, authentic, curious and explorative, intelligent, unpredictable, and vibrant with life.

She connects us to our vital feminine life force – our sacred sexuality, which happens to be one and the same as our power for creation, manifestation, and financial abundance. 

When we experience childhood trauma, the Maiden archetype within us becomes wounded. 

The Wounded Maiden is deeply disconnected with her intuitive power, unable to express herself authentically.

The Wounded Maiden archetype is often depicted in media as the damsel in distress. Traditional story tropes typically portray the Maiden archetype as either a demure, virginal daughter, or a sex object existing for the sole pleasure of men. 

Most women in today’s society are perpetually stuck in the Wounded Maiden archetype. 

Society has spurned an obsession for women to over-identify with the quest for eternal youth – placing on a pedestal the shallowest aspects of what it means to be youthful. 

Aging is viewed as the enemy – something to defy and deny at all costs. 

As a result, the maturation of the Maiden season of life, and the healing of the Maiden’s wounds have been cast to the wayside. 

An over-identification with the Wounded Maiden energy manifests as: 

  • The inability to control sexual and romantic impulses, often leaping from one relationship to the next to fulfill an internal emptiness or fulfill the desire for constant stimulation.
  • A lack of discernment between when to allow your magic and wildness flow and when to harness this power with structure and control.
  • The chase of the thrill and forever seeking the next distraction.
  • An inability to embrace the Divine Feminine power of transformation.
  • The abuse and misuse of sacred sexuality.
  • The obsession with the quest to remain forever young – often to the point of lacking emotional depth and maturity.
  • A skewed relationship to commitment, responsibility, personal accountability, ownership of one’s life, and sovereignty as a whole being.
  • The abandonment of security and structure, typically stemming from a deep-rooted fear of being caged.

A suppression or underdevelopment of the Empowered Maiden energy manifests as:

  • A rigid approach to life – lacking in the ability to flow, adapt, and be spontaneous.
  • Fear of change and the rejection of our inherently wild nature.
  • A deeply ingrained shame surrounding the body and its pleasures – suppressed sexuality, inability to embrace your sensuality, and rejection or demonization of personal desire.
  • A disconnect from your essential life force and creative power, often presenting as a refusal or fear to venture outside the box.
  • Personal insecurity and a mindset of lack.
  • Clinging to situations, people, and things that are no longer in alignment for the purpose of feeling safe in what is known and familiar.
  • Allowing the objectification of self and bending to the desires of others while disregarding your own personal truth.
  • Playing the game of “should” – adhering strictly to the rules and structures of what “should” be , how you “should” behave , the timeline you “should” be living by, regardless of the personal betrayal and cost to your wellbeing.

In order to grow intentionally into the full bloom of the Mother archetype, we must first heal the Wounds of the Maiden, which in today’s world, none of us are exempt from.

Integrate your shadow, wield your magic, own your power, and rise into your fullest self. 

Goddesses – we are in a season of humanity where we are focused on building deeper layers beyond the material realm and what the eye can see.

We are creating more depth, more richness, and more wildness in our movement through the world.

We are not one-dimensional images of what womanhood “should” be.

We are more than the stunted, suppressed, idealized versions depicted in media and exalted by the Wounded Masculine energy parading in the patriarchy.

We must venture into the underworld and retrieve our shadow in order to create from a space of Wholeness rather than from the wounds of the Maiden. 

Embrace your Inner Goddess and come back to the magic and intuition that lives within you. 

Open yourself to the Divine to allow inspiration to come through. You are a channel for divinity and creation.

Heal your internal space by holding your shadow with loving kindness, gentleness, and patience.

It is time to do the shadow work and now is the season for closing out old patterns and cycles. 

Examine any limiting beliefs around financial freedom, worth and value, career vs purpose, selling yourself short. With compassion, hold yourself accountable for how you are contributing to your patterning. 

When we heal our Maiden and harness her wild magic, we can begin to transform into the rich abundance of the Mother.

The first step to this transformation is to awaken to the truth of what it means to be a woman, and to stop identifying with the programming we have been fed.

Only then, can the journey of the Goddess truly begin.

How To Create Safety When You’re Feeling Triggered

Have you ever had a cut on your finger that you had forgotten entirely about? 

That is, until you wash your hands and get that nasty zing and that stark realization that the cut is not quite as healed as you had previously thought. 

This is what is happening in our energetic bodies when we experience triggering. 

There is a wound that is unhealed that becomes activated by some external force.

As with the cut, it is not the water or the external environment that was the root cause of the triggering we experienced. 

The triggering was only exacerbating a pre-existing pain that we have not yet healed and released. 

Triggering is natural and is bringing our awareness to where work is still needed.

It is an invitation to deeper growth and healing. 

Being in conflict can often feel like walking through a minefield of hidden trigger bombs. 

Often when we feel triggered, particularly in conflict, it is can feel borderline impossible for us to continue on consciously. 

Especially if it is not something we have practiced and become familiar with and this can bring on a lot of feelings of shame and guilt. 

Should we choose to work through our conflicts and triggers to create greater harmony in our relationships? Yes! 

However, there comes a point where everything external needs to be put on pause – and this point occurs when one or both people have begun to become emotionally overloaded and start to feel unsafe. 

This is particularly crucial when the sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) has been activated. 

So what can we do to get back to a state of feeling safety and security within ourselves and the relationship container? 

Here is my 7 Step Process for Creating Safety When Feeling Triggered:

1. Communicate with the person that you are feeling triggered and unsafe. 

Bringing awareness to this state of feeling unsafe and the activation of the sympathetic nervous system is the first part of drawing the shadow into the light of consciousness.

The caveat for this is that if the situation is actually physically or psychologically unsafe you may want to remove yourself from the situation. 

If you feel like the other person involved does not have the awareness to understand you may need to just make a mental note of this to yourself.

2. Hold space for the experience that comes with the triggering of this unhealed wound.

If the person who triggered this unhealed wound is in a space to hold space for you and you feel safe doing so, ask them to do so.

Or if the other person is unable or unwilling to hold space due to their own emotional activation or triggering, or you don’t feel safe asking them to do so, take space to do this for yourself. 

If you need additional support – ask a trusted, neutral party to hold space for you to process the experience.

3. Identify which emotions are coming up that are creating this feeling of not being safe. 

A lot of times the emotions that arise are fear, shame, anger, and unresolved pain.

Notice what core wound these emotions are stemming from.

An easy way to do this is to ask ourselves what the current triggering experience is reminding us of from our past, particularly childhood.  

4. Breathe and become aware of the presence of these emotions in your body.

Allow yourself to experience your emotions without becoming identified or attached to them – this will take practice! 

Breathe deeply into the areas of tension and allow your body to reset emotionally. 

When we breathe deeply and mindfully, we are soothing the physiological response that happens when we are emotionally activated.

5. Affirm to yourself that everything you are feeling is valid and have a reassuring conversation with yourself. 

An example of a conversation you may have with yourself to comfort yourself is – “Hey I know you’re feeling very unsafe right now because of this current situation reminding you of x previous situation and that’s very understandable given x, y, z. What can we do to make you feel safe right now?” 

Listen deeply to the part of you that feels unsafe and why they feel unsafe how ever “illogical” your thinking mind may think it is, listen with compassion and non judgement and accept them. 

If you have a history of people invalidating your emotions, particularly during childhood, tell yourself whatever you needed to hear in the past to validate your experience. 

6. Do something that makes you feel more physically safe in your body and commit to experiencing this mindfully for a length of time. 

Choose something that feels good and healing for you as a unique individual with your one-of-a-kind history.

Try to engage all 5 senses – this will help you to come into your body and back into the present moment.

Some things you can do to induce a physically safe environment in your body are ask for a hug, wrap yourself up in a blanket, take a bath, make a cup of tea, go for a walk, light a candle, listen to music.

7. Once you have created an environment that nurtures safety and allowed yourself to come back to your emotional baseline or homeostasis, let others know what they can do to support you in creating safety. 

This may include: 

  • Setting a boundary around taking time and space for yourself during conflict and returning to the conflict afterwards.
  • A request for others to offer reassuring and supportive statements that are helpful to you.
  • An invitation to do breath work  or meditation together.
  • Allowing someone to make that tea for you or drawing you a bath or bringing you a blanket. 

When you’ve experienced trauma around relationships and conflict in the past (and here’s a secret – we all have), it can feel daunting to work through these challenges without getting overwhelmed to the perceived monumental size of the task.

The more these tools are practiced, the more they will become second nature. 

It will take time, Beloved. 

Be gentle and kind with yourself along the journey. 

4 Ways For How To Heal The Relationship With Your Inner Child

In my last post, we talked about what Inner Child healing is and where it comes from. (You can read more about that here.)

I’d like to share with you guys someone very special to me today…

Meet my Inner Child – that’s right, this special someone, is in fact, my own dang adorable self!

Here is little baby Grace, approximately 3 years of age… Who would have thought this tiny bundle of mischief would be running her own coaching practice as an adult?!

When I first started my own Inner Child work as part of my healing journey before bringing it into my coaching practice, I had a difficult time being kind to my child self. 

What helped me to heal my internal dialogue with my Inner Child was carrying a picture of my child self and envisioning this part of myself when doing the work.

It’s far too easy to become detached from our Inner Child self when it is an intangible, amorphous idea, rather than a precious small child we can actually visualize and see.

If you’re like me and have a hard time initiating a healing process with a part of you that you cannot see, it may be worth it to carry around a physical or digital photo of your childhood self to assist on your journey.

This way, you know exactly who you are working together with during this healing experience.

So, how exactly do we start this process of healing the relationship with our Inner Child? 

Here are four tried and true methods I’ve used in my coaching practice as well as along my own journey that can help you connect deeply with your Inner Child to cultivate healing of childhood wounds, and to allow the magic of your radiant, creative child self to shine through!

1. Inner Child Meditation 

Visualize your child self and notice the age you are, the emotions you feel, the environment you are in. When any memories surface, dive into them if you feel safe to do so and practice observing your child self in the experience with loving kindness and compassion. Bring awareness to the dominant emotions of this child’s experience and any thought patterns that may arise. 

Diving into this style of meditation can feel rather daunting if you’ve never done it before, especially for those of us with very painful childhood memories.

Enlisting the expertise of a coach, therapist, or other trusted practitioner can be incredibly beneficial, especially to create a safe container for working through traumatic experiences.

You can also use a guided meditation, there is a plethora available on YouTube and other platforms. 

For those of us who may be more practiced in the art of Inner Child Work, you may want to accompany your child self as your current adult self throughout these meditations.

One of my favorite questions to ask clients during this process is “What does your child self need from you in this moment that they never received?” You can then create the opportunity to give that experience to your Inner Child during meditation to close out the experience. 

2. Journaling Through The Voice Of Your Inner Child

Creating a regular practice of journaling through various emotional states through the voice of your child self is particularly beneficial for those of us who find it challenging to experience and regulate our emotions.

As children, we do not come into the human experience knowing how to regulate our own nervous systems, and thus we rely on our caregivers to teach us how to do so. Some parents do a better job of this than others based on what their own experiences and capabilities are. 

You may want to settle into the journaling process by taking a few deep, belly breaths and allowing your Inner Child to come forth in your mind. 

When we tap into this part of ourselves, we encourage our most vulnerable emotions to be revealed to us, particularly if we are accustomed to suppressing, rejecting, and denying our own emotions because this is what we learned.

We may even be doing this with so-called “positive” emotions such as joy, curiosity, and love. 

Invite yourself to be uncensored in this process and let this process be a safe space for you to express freely. Allow yourself to fully feel whatever comes up for you, whether they are “negative” or “positive” emotions, and let the ink fly!

3. Reparenting Your Inner Child

While the reparenting process may sound rather obscure and abstract at first, it becomes second-nature with practice and patience. It does however require awareness of the internal experience of your Inner Child. 

A helpful place to start is to bring gentle awareness to the internal world throughout the day. 

What are you feeling? What thoughts are running through your mind? How are you speaking to yourself?

A client I worked with faced many challenges relating to the internal dialogue he had with himself. When his Inner Child would experience a less desirable “negative” emotion such as sadness or anger, both of which are valuable messengers from our bodies, his default reaction would be to criticize and invalidate his own emotions.

Because we internalize the voices we heard most as children, as adults we now recreate these voices and often inflict abuse upon ourselves. 

Through the reparenting process, he was able to compassionately acknowledge and validate his emotions.

By changing the voice of his internal authority figure, he was able to heal the relationship between this part of himself and his Inner Child. This made it safer for him to experience his varying emotional states and gave him valuable information for how to move through the world. 

Treat your Inner Child and meet their needs in the way you would have wanted when you were younger.

Speak to yourself with kindness, be patient with your process, create structure and discipline where necessary, and learn how to best care for yourself. 

4. Create And Play As Your Inner Child

Make art, dance, sing, run around in nature, let yourself be wild and free! 

As we journey through life as adults, so many of us lose the spark of vitality and wonder we all have as children. We actively suppress or dissociate from the creative, playful nature that is integral to the human incarnation.

Yet again, we perpetuate what we have been taught. 

As children, we are often taught to grow up, to focus on the future, to stop being such a  child. It becomes second nature for us to play this narrative on repeat in our minds like a broken record player.

Little do we know, most adults haven’t evolved beyond childhood emotional maturity, and yet, the beautiful parts of being a child are things we actively resist and reject! 

Take some time to reflect on what you really loved doing as a child. Make a promise to yourself to create a regular practice of doing that thing as part of your self care and allow yourself to be fully immersed in it. 

Inner Child Work isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, though that is certainly an integral part of the process. Sometimes it can be dark, and scary. Sometimes it can be disheartening and painful.

All of us on this human journey have experienced childhood trauma. This is a part of the current initiation process on Earth that shows us where our gifts truly lie. 

It is all too easy to get stuck in despair and shadow, so we must actively choose to step out of the role of the victim and into a more empowered state.

The power to decide lies with you, and you alone.

If you’re going to choose to do the nitty gritty work, you may as well have some fun along the way, take a lesson from childhood and play! 

What Is Inner Child Work?

If you are immersed in any kind of self development and healing work, chances are you’ve come across the concept of Inner Child Work. To those of us who are unfamiliar with this practice, it can sound rather woo-woo and mystifying to be working with some obscure facet of our personality we may not be fully aware even exists. 

Along my earlier journey, I had no concept of what the Inner Child even was, let alone any depth of understanding as to how my Inner Child was stealthily running the show from behind the scenes of my subconscious programming.

I was sleep-walking through life while my Inner Child was secretly puppeteering me in nearly every facet of life with the strings of my unresolved childhood trauma. 

Inner Child Work stems from the 12 Archetypes of Jungian psychology, each of the 12 archetypes representing universal characters that reside within the collective unconscious. These 12 main archetypes embody traits that show where our subconscious behavioral patterns and motivations stem from.

We all have these archetypes embedded in our psyches that show up by acting internally or externally through us based on the experiences we encounter. 

The concept of the Inner Child comes from the Innocent Archetype. This archetype is the epitome of wholesomeness, purity, and optimism.

As with anything, there is also the Shadow side of this archetype in which they can avoid seeing the reality of a situation, other people, and themselves in favor of viewing life through idealism-tinted glasses. 

Patterns of behavior stemming from the Inner Child are driven by programming we received in childhood due to how we were raised, the kind of love we received, and unresolved trauma still lingering in the subconscious mind and the resulting build up of that emotional data stored in our energetic auric fields.  

I recently worked with a client who was plagued by people pleasing tendencies to the point of not being able to determine if her behavior was truly in alignment with her highest good or if it was to placate the perceived demands of others around her. 

She had a pattern of choosing romantic patterns that reflected back to her the same emotional unavailability she experienced in the relationship with her father.

When forming connections with women, she habitually fawned over them upon first getting to know them by fixating on only their good qualities, and when their less desirable qualities came to light, these women fell from the pedestal she placed them on and she would reject them entirely. 

Through the process of working with this client’s Inner Child, we discovered that her mother was incredibly domineering and often would pit her against her sisters, creating a family culture of a competition-based method of relating. As an adult forming friendships with other women, she perpetuated these inherited beliefs by taking on her mother’s voice and initially hyper-focusing on all the qualities she admired about these women. 

This perpetuated a cycle of not feeling good enough and brought up feelings of insecurity and shame that continued to dwell within her Inner Child. At this point in the cycle, she once again adopted her mother’s critical voice towards her child self and would lash out at her female friends as her mother had done to her in childhood. 

When we encounter patterns of behavior in our lives that seemingly perpetuate themselves, the root often stems from the scared, wounded little kid that still resides within us.

We do everything in our power to get the love we need and act out our childhood traumas in covert ways. It can be a bit frightening to recognize that most of our behaviors do not stem from a space of awareness and conscious choice, but rather from a place of recreating what we have always known. 

The beautiful thing about this realization is this – once we become aware of this hurt Inner Child running the show from backstage, we have the power to engage with this part of ourselves for deeper understanding, awareness, acceptance, and healing.

There is no right or wrong way to do Inner Child work.

In both my personal healing journey as well as in my coaching practice, this work is done through many different modalities such as a meditation connecting with your child self, becoming aware of how your Inner Child acts when triggering and reparenting this part of yourself, journaling through the voice of your Inner Child, taking yourself on a play date – just to name a few!

This work then opens the opportunity to create some very real, powerful change for how we want to move through the world going forward. 

3 Pranayama Breathwork Practices For Anxiety & Stress

Do you ever take notice of your breath throughout the day? For those of us who struggle with anxiety and regulating our fight or flight response – this is life changing!

For most of us, our breathing tends to be erratic and shallow, with different situations affecting our breath patterns. High pressure situations will tend to speed up your breath. 

Different mental states are connected to their own breathing patterns.

In breathing purposefully and with mindful intention, we can induce stillness and clarity to the mind and begin to direct our energy in a desired manner. 

All the body systems are interconnected in a divinely complex way we are just beginning to grasp.

Pranayama is a Sanskrit word meaning extension of the prana, or the practice of breath control. This is an essential yogic practice that originates from ancient India.

Pranayama (breathwork) is a practice that is built over time with patience and understanding. 

Life stressors active the sympathetic nervous system – the fight, flight, freeze response. This is our bodies’ way of coping with stress. 

We can activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest response) by tapping into diaphragmatic breathing. 

The vagus nerve is the main influencer of the PNS and manages the nervous system response and reduces the heart rate. 

When we activate the vagus nerve through conscious breath – a neurotransmitter called acetylcholine is released, which lowers anxiety and increases focus and calmness. 

The more you are able to stimulate the vagus nerve, the more acetylcholine is released, and the greater effect it has on reducing anxiety. 

So, in other words, through consciously breathing – we can drastically improve our ability to cope with anxiety. How wild is that?!

Here are my top 3 favorite breathwork techniques:

🔥Belly Breathing – breathing deeply into the belly first, and then expanding the upper lungs outward and upward.

✅If you’re a beginner to conscious breathing, it can help to lay on your back and place a hand on your belly. As you breath, focus on pushing your hand up. 

🔥4-7-8 Breathing – inhale fully for a count of 4, hold the breath for 7, exhale slowly for 8

✅This technique is akin to a nervous system reset and is particularly useful in lowering anxiety, managing anger responses, and falling asleep quicker.

🔥Ujjayi (Ocean) Breathing – with a gentle restriction at the back of the throat, inhale fully and exhale completely through the nose, creating an ocean wave-like sound

✅It helps to imagine fogging up a bathroom mirror with the breath but with the lips closed. This will create that restriction at the back of the throat.

✅As you go deeper into the breathwork practice, see if you can draw out the breath to be longer and slower with each cycle. 

👉🏻For more info on pranayama, comment “YES” on this post. 

TLDR; Breathing cures anxiety, cuz science. 

Breathe easy, my friends! 

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth2021

How Morning Pages Helped Heal My Mental Health

Stream of consciousness journaling changed my life, and it will change yours too. 

I first started this practice back in 2016 upon reading Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way. I desperately needed tools to begin healing my relationship with my mental health.

Julia Cameron talks about using the Morning Pages – 3 pages stream of consciousness journaling first thing in the morning – as a way to clear the mental clutter for the day to tap into greater creative potential.

At first, I was skeptical – Three whole pages every day? What on earth would I write about? And was this really going to work?

At that point in my life, I was still on most of my medications, “treating” various mental health ailments. The thought of stream of consciousness writing – basically vomiting all the thoughts I had onto paper – was truly terrifying.

I had a major resistance to seeing what truly went on in the maze of chaos I called my mind. 

I let this resistance stop me for several months, before finally committing myself to the promise of self healing. I was going to need all the help I could get in tapering off the rest of my medications.

After several weeks of journaling every morning – I began to notice how cyclical and repetitive most of my thoughts were. I was complaining and fearful about the same damn things. 

After several months, my thought and behavioral patterns became very clear. I was allowing my self abusive speak and fearful complaints run my life and dictate how I would show up to each day. 

“I am so tired.”

“I feel so anxious, I don’t want to leave my bed today.”

“ I can’t do (thing I want to do), because (insert excuse here).”

Sound familiar?

A major pivot in my mental health game was when I began to actively challenge these intrusive thoughts through my journaling. When a negative thought would spill from my pen, I’d immediately reframe it with a better perspective.

And my challenges began to turn into my blessings. 

This kind of journaling was such a helpful tool for me because I could see all my thoughts in tangible form. Rather than being some amorphous demon that I couldn’t see, my mind became something I could hold, and therefore begin to retrain.

It allowed me to become painfully aware of all the limiting beliefs, self defeating thoughts, and emotional triggers and patterns that needed healing.

In any change we desire to make in life, awareness is the first step. 

We must first become very clear on what we are doing that isn’t working. And from there, we can discern what changes are necessary and how to get there.

The Morning Pages can essentially become free therapy, in which you play the role of both patient and therapist. And for me, having unsuccessfully tried many avenues of therapy – this was perfect. 

After all, no one had more intimate access to the true state of my mental health than me. I was claiming sole responsibility and ownership of healing my mental dis-ease. 

This is when I began to make leaps and bounds in my personal development game.

Legendary creators like Alicia Keys (singer-songwriter), Martin Scorsese (film director, producer, screenwriter), Tim Ferriss (Author of The Four Hour Workweek), and Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of Eat, Pray, Love) all swear by the Morning Pages in being huge contributors to their creative process.

But you don’t have to just take it for face value and believe my own experience or those of the mega-creators I mentioned above.

Try this powerful process for yourself!

I invite you to start a 7 day challenge with starting your own Morning Pages practice. 

✅ Comment “I’M IN!” on this post and I’ll send you free info on the morning pages. 

You are worth the time. You are worth the energy. You are worthy of your own love and devotion. 

And let’s face it, no matter who we are or where we stand, we could all use a little extra care with our mental health. 

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth

Get at me privately by using my contact form at https://lotusawareshare.wordpress.com/home/contact/

Or email me directly at lotuscoaching13@gmail.com

My Mission For Mental Health Awareness Month 2021

If you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness (either by a professional or by Dr. Interwebs) – then I’ve got a secret to tell you that you didn’t know about yourself.

You’ve got a super power. 

I know, I know. It sounds pretty ludicrous, but hear me out! 

Back in the days of old, long before the Books of Face and the Grams of Insta…

There were roles in tribal style communities that relied on intuition, spiritual attunement, high levels of sensitivity to stimuli, and the ability to deeply feel. 

These roles included medicine men and women, shamans, seers/prophets, herbalists, ceremonial leaders, mystics, lore-keepers/storytellers, dream interpreters, and artists of all kinds – just to name a few!

The root cause for much of the mental dis-ease prevalent today is not because there is something inherently wrong with or broken about you. 

This form of illness comes instead from seeing the reality of the world we live in today, and not being able or willing to tolerate and/or fit into it. 

Add underneath that the traumas we’ve all endured during childhood, gifts that we were taught are not valuable, and we’ve got the perfect breeding ground for the pandemic of mental dis-ease that we see today.

20% of people in America alone have some form of mental “illness”. 

This isn’t because we’re all crazy or we just happened to inherit some fucked up genes. 

It is because we live in a profoundly ill culture that has eliminated (or at the very least vastly inhibited) important community roles that utilize the function of the right brain – the creative, intuitive part of the brain.  

To quote Krishnamurti – “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

But, who am I to be talking about mental illness and why should anyone pay attention?

As someone who has:

✅Been diagnosed with five different mental health disorder labels

✅Lived through the ins and outs of the entire mental illness system

✅Undergone 15 rounds of electroconvulsive (electroshock) “therapy”

✅Successfully tapered herself off of a cocktail of 8 medications

✅Self healed to a point where I am no longer defined by any mental health diagnoses 

One could say I’ve experienced the world of mental illness very up close and personally. 

And I’ve got some things to share with those of us who have been in a similar boat.

In honor of Mental Health Awareness month, for the month of May I will be sharing my own mental health journey, the insights and tools I’ve acquired along the way, and a gentle reframe of our current approach to and understanding of mental health. 

As a coach, I extend the invitation to you to interact with any of the topics I’ll be covering this month and to reach out privately if you need a nonjudgmental, safe space to be seen and heard. 

With love, may you remember that you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. And you are a gift to the world who has not discovered yourself… 

Yet.

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth

Get at me privately by using my contact form at https://lotusawareshare.wordpress.com/home/contact/

Or email me directly at lotuscoaching13@gmail.com

How The Masculine Wound Impacts Self Discipline

Most of us have masculine wounding. And this trauma is often the root cause of a lack of discipline. 

Whether that stems from absent fathers, abusive relationships with fathers and other men, or relationships with men and fathers who are emotionally unavailable determines how this wounding is translated into the subconscious mind and subsequently how it manifests in our day to day actions, behaviors, and patterns.

Now, before I dive deeper into this – I must clarify. Regardless of gender identity, biological sex, or sexual orientation, we ALL have masculine and feminine energies within us. 

The terms divine masculine and divine feminine in this sense are one piece of the universal principles of duality energetics.

We all would benefit from balancing and healing our masculine and feminine energies. This is where duality transforms into unity. 

In the work I’ve done with clients, as well as in my own life, I’ve discovered that most Western women today have compensated for their childhood wounds by becoming hyper-masculine. 

This hyper-masculinization manifests as being extremely rigid, lack of surrender and flow, inability to receive, and use of control in order to create safety.

For men, early childhood masculine wounding in correspondence to the relationship with fathers, leads to a suppression of their own masculine energy as a survival mechanism to adapt to their environment. 

Those of us who have unhealed masculine wounding that is rooted in an early childhood abuse, suppression, or rejection of the masculine pole, display a hyper-feminization of our energy. 

Hyper-feminization manifests as a lack of structure and discipline, poor ability to assert and maintain boundaries, difficulty with being present, low confidence in personal power, and absence of drive and motivation.

The feminine or masculine energy itself is not the problem. The issue arises when there is an imbalance between the masculine and feminine poles within our own energy bodies.

So, how does the masculine wound manifest as a lack of discipline?

When our masculine energy is stuck in a disempowered state – we become passive and unstructured, unable to follow through with a drive to move forward and utilize action in order to bring about what we want into existence. 

We start to believe that our masculine willpower is of no consequence – it is worthless in creating the result we desire.

A popular core belief here is – “I cannot use my willpower to create what I want because what I want is wrong and using my personal power will only cause me harm.” 

This belief is especially prevalent if our authentic selves were rejected and conditionally loved during childhood. If a child views their personal will as something shameful, it makes sense that they would adapt by abandoning their own desires in order to survive.   

So the issue with discipline isn’t actually that we are lazy, apathetic, or just couldn’t be bothered to motivate ourselves. 

The root of the wound with discipline stems from the subconscious program we adopted that our masculine energy is wrong, shameful, dangerous, and bad. 

We view our personal willpower as something harmful to us, especially when it got us into trouble in childhood through a withdrawal of love, constant criticism, abuse, rejection, and abandonment. 

Naturally, it reasons to follow that if our personal willpower is something that is dangerous for our wellbeing, then the sustained use of our personal willpower to bring about a certain reality – discipline – is exponentially more harmful, and must be avoided at all costs.

This is why some of us can be so disciplined when it comes to going to school or working at a job that we don’t particularly enjoy, and yet have a challenging time being disciplined when pursuing things that are meaningful and worthwhile to ourselves. 

Personal willpower exercised to meet societal expectations feels safer. And it is even perceived as necessary to survive.

Whereas discipline for the sake of being true to one’s own calling and purpose is more challenging to exercise and sustain. It all makes sense when it stems from a pattern of vilifying our desires and authentic selves.

We’ve adopted a belief that we are inherently wrong – that something is wrong with us. And if something is wrong with us, this means we are not good enough, and our desires and goals are not valid.

Healing the relationship with discipline often isn’t as simple as just doing it. 

Yes, simply forcing ourselves to take the action may work in the short term. The challenges reveal themselves in the sustainability and longevity of these endeavors.

Radical self acceptance and shameless validation of our emotions, needs, and desires is the first step in healing our association with discipline. 

From there, we begin to build on top of our healing relationship with our masculine energy, and slowly add on other tools to craft a more disciplined life. 

With a disciplined mindset shift, the act of simply wishing evolves into becoming a force of creation to be reckoned with. 

A Heartfelt Message For The Millennial Generation

Where does a lack of discipline come from? 

Millennials – this is going to be spicy! This is your fair warning – if you don’t see triggering as a portal to growth, I kindly suggest you keep scrolling and move on with your day. 

My fellow millennials, with love I must observe – we’ve become soft. 

When I say soft, I don’t mean in the good sense. There is a time and place, of course, for softness – for gentleness and ease, for flow and surrender.

Soft in this sense means lacking a backbone, being absent of willpower, discipline, and the ability to self motivate and commit to something. 

We as a collective have lost the ability to persevere in the face of hardship and challenge. 

While it wasn’t necessarily our fault that we’ve learned to become this way, it damn well is our responsibility now to take ownership of that and unlearn this way of moving through the world. 

Unless of course, it is serving you in some way – in which case… carry on. 

A major issue I’ve noticed in the millennial generation is learned helplessness. We crumble in the face of opposition, tuck tail and run when confronted with uncomfortable friction. 

It isn’t our fault that we’ve been programmed to be this way. 

We’ve been taught that if we follow the trajectory society has laid out for us – school, job, marriage, kids – that we are guaranteed success. And that this material, societally defined definition of “success” means we will achieve our way into happiness.

So many of us are finding that this illusion is a fallacy that leads to an unfulfilling life trapped in the rat race matrix.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that we’ve been dealt a pretty shit hand – climate change caused by our own carelessness and apathy, systemic racism, medical systems that profit from dis-ease, global corruption, food systems based on abuse and exploitation, catastrophic levels of mental dis-ease, rape of the feminine – just to name a few.

Add on top of that the fact that older generations monopolize positions of power and influence, unwilling to pass the baton and abdicate the proverbial throne. 

However, can we blame them? 

Can we blame them for not trusting us to hold our own? For not believing we are ready to lead?

Because from what I can see, they are right.

We, as a collective, aren’t ready… Yet. 

We’ve been too busy playing the “poor me” game. We’ve been too busy whining about the unfairness and injustice of it all – how ill equipped we are to deal with the daunting reality of the monumental changes we need to make to survive as a species. 

We’ve been preoccupied with blaming Baby Boomers for fucking things up. We’ve been distracted by the shiny newness of things that satisfy our addiction to instant gratification. 

We’ve been making excuses for why it’s too hard, and why it’ll never work. 

We’ve convinced ourselves that this world is doomed. And if this is what we continue to tell ourselves, this is what we will continue to see, and how things will continue to be.

We’ve been so fixated on pointing the finger trying to figure out who’s fault it is that we’ve forgotten that we ALL have had a part to play.

When will it be time to claim responsibility over your part?

We can choose to continue to be soft, to lack discipline and drive, to balk in the face of responsibility and commitment – to make excuses as to why we can’t, or shouldn’t, or won’t. 

After all, this lack of discipline stems from a core belief we made with ourselves due to the trauma we’ve experienced. 

We have learned that hard work does not pay off. 

We’ve learned that the route society planned for us is a trap. We’ve learned that no matter what we do, we won’t get what we want anyway, so why bother even trying? 

The core belief comes from a part of you that has been so wounded in the past, that it associates discipline with an undesirable outcome. 

I invite you to consider that the issue isn’t discipline itself. 

The problem was a reward-punishment style system that duped us into unwilling or half-hearted discipline to achieve things that society dictated were important or worthwhile. All with little to no pay off, and for many of us – piles and piles of debt. 

But what if we were to learn to be disciplined about the things that resonate with our soul, our inner calling, our belief in something greater than ourselves?

What if we were to channel that discipline into rising to the invitation to be our most empowered selves? To break open our untapped potential?

What if we were to commit to and exercise discipline towards things that really, truly matter to us as individuals? 

And what if this discipline on an individual level not only drives us to become the best versions of ourselves, but to create revolutionary, sustainable change on a global level?

Yes, we are but drops of water among an ocean of sharks. 

And yet, each drop of water banded together has the ability to become a force that determines the weather systems of the entire planet. 

It all starts with you. It all starts on an individual level.

My millennial brothers and sisters – I know we’ve been handed a gigantic plate of shit and were told to accept it as is. I know we have our work cut out for us without having learned the tools to do this work with mastery and skill. 

I also know that we all have gifts we came to this Earth with. 

And I know that we were born into this generation, this role in human history, precisely BECAUSE we are capable of changing the trajectory we are on. 

The question is… have we tapped into this knowledge yet? Have we acquired the tools to harness our gifts and the discipline to master them? 

I’m on my way there, and I will never stop growing, learning and unlearning, and opening to love and a better way of being.

If I can do it, you certainly can too.

The world needs us, my friend. 

It may be a challenging road ahead. It will require discipline, courage, strength of heart, mastery of mind, rest, and self motivated evolution. 

It will be hard work, yes. And we don’t have to go it alone. We’re in this as One. 

Happy International Women’s Day – Let’s Smash Some Ceilings, Folks!

I have thought deeply about all the different ways I could approach this topic, there are so many incredible movements that are bringing light to the important issue of women’s rights.

Continue reading Happy International Women’s Day – Let’s Smash Some Ceilings, Folks!

America & Mental Health Systems

As a person who has experienced the ins and outs of the mental illness systems, I can confidently say that the issue of mental illness and how medication applies is one that is rooted in deep systemic dysfunction.

Continue reading America & Mental Health Systems

Top 9 Documentaries To Watch If You’re Curious About Going Vegan Or Vegetarian

So you’re curious about going vegetarian or even vegan? Whether this is due to personal health reasons, wanting to do your part in preserving our environment, or animal rights, this documentary list has got something for everyone!

Continue reading Top 9 Documentaries To Watch If You’re Curious About Going Vegan Or Vegetarian

Consumerism And Self Worth: Part Four

Part Four: Conscious Consumerism

In American culture, so much of our lives are dictated by a mirage – an image of what our lives “should” look like. According to Forbes magazine, the average American is exposed to 4,000 to 10,000 advertisements per day. Whether that’s via television programming or social media, the fact remains that we are being programmed to chase an unobtainable illusion. It’s no wonder that so many of us are unhappy and lacking fulfillment in our lives.

Continue reading Consumerism And Self Worth: Part Four

Consumerism And Self Worth: Part Three

Part Three: The Consumer Trap

As humans, being told we have fallen for a trap does not sit well with us. We don’t like feeling duped and for good reason! Any perceived attack to the ego often gets automatically rejected and labeled as irrelevant regardless of how applicable it may be to our self awareness and growth.

Rather than responding defensively, I instead ask that we review the pertinent information with an open mind and cast the ego aside.

Continue reading Consumerism And Self Worth: Part Three

Consumerism And Self Worth: Part Two

Part Two: The Need To Acquire More

When we examine the products we consume the most as a society, it becomes clear that the way the system must be designed in order to keep consumers coming back is to provide a constant turn over and progression of products. The heaviest consumption is that of food products, followed by clothing, beauty products, the latest technological advances, and other services.

Continue reading Consumerism And Self Worth: Part Two

Consumerism And Self Worth: Part One

Hey friends! This is the first part of my new series, Consumerism And Self Worth in which we examine the correlations between the two. I’ll be releasing parts two, three, and four on every Wednesday over the next month. Stay tuned for Part Two next week!

Part One: Media & Beauty Trends

Oh, the glorious beauty trends of the 2000’s – sparkly lip gloss, crimped hair, spiked and bleached hair, thin eyebrows, soul patches, Spartan-esque abs, belly button piercings, and boob jobs.

My personal favorites I’d seen in my early teenage days were the layered polos with happily flaunted popped collars, decorated and doodled upon converses in all their colorful glory, and god did I want a hideous ruffled mini skirt. Who else is feeling way too grossly nostalgic right now?

Continue reading Consumerism And Self Worth: Part One