Heal The Wounded Maiden To Become Empowered In Your Womanhood

Calling all my Queens! 

Are you ready to heal the Wounded Maiden and open into the full bloom of the Mother? 

As women we move through three major seasons of life – the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. 

Understanding these archetypes separately and drawing wisdom from the integration of the three is key to opening to our fullest wild feminine magic. 

The Maiden archetype is the self that is embarking on the journey of self discovery – venturing into the underworld for the process of self initiated metamorphosis. 

At her core, the Maiden is fiercely independent, untamed, authentic, curious and explorative, intelligent, unpredictable, and vibrant with life.

She connects us to our vital feminine life force – our sacred sexuality, which happens to be one and the same as our power for creation, manifestation, and financial abundance. 

When we experience childhood trauma, the Maiden archetype within us becomes wounded. 

The Wounded Maiden is deeply disconnected with her intuitive power, unable to express herself authentically.

The Wounded Maiden archetype is often depicted in media as the damsel in distress. Traditional story tropes typically portray the Maiden archetype as either a demure, virginal daughter, or a sex object existing for the sole pleasure of men. 

Most women in today’s society are perpetually stuck in the Wounded Maiden archetype. 

Society has spurned an obsession for women to over-identify with the quest for eternal youth – placing on a pedestal the shallowest aspects of what it means to be youthful. 

Aging is viewed as the enemy – something to defy and deny at all costs. 

As a result, the maturation of the Maiden season of life, and the healing of the Maiden’s wounds have been cast to the wayside. 

An over-identification with the Wounded Maiden energy manifests as: 

  • The inability to control sexual and romantic impulses, often leaping from one relationship to the next to fulfill an internal emptiness or fulfill the desire for constant stimulation.
  • A lack of discernment between when to allow your magic and wildness flow and when to harness this power with structure and control.
  • The chase of the thrill and forever seeking the next distraction.
  • An inability to embrace the Divine Feminine power of transformation.
  • The abuse and misuse of sacred sexuality.
  • The obsession with the quest to remain forever young – often to the point of lacking emotional depth and maturity.
  • A skewed relationship to commitment, responsibility, personal accountability, ownership of one’s life, and sovereignty as a whole being.
  • The abandonment of security and structure, typically stemming from a deep-rooted fear of being caged.

A suppression or underdevelopment of the Empowered Maiden energy manifests as:

  • A rigid approach to life – lacking in the ability to flow, adapt, and be spontaneous.
  • Fear of change and the rejection of our inherently wild nature.
  • A deeply ingrained shame surrounding the body and its pleasures – suppressed sexuality, inability to embrace your sensuality, and rejection or demonization of personal desire.
  • A disconnect from your essential life force and creative power, often presenting as a refusal or fear to venture outside the box.
  • Personal insecurity and a mindset of lack.
  • Clinging to situations, people, and things that are no longer in alignment for the purpose of feeling safe in what is known and familiar.
  • Allowing the objectification of self and bending to the desires of others while disregarding your own personal truth.
  • Playing the game of “should” – adhering strictly to the rules and structures of what “should” be , how you “should” behave , the timeline you “should” be living by, regardless of the personal betrayal and cost to your wellbeing.

In order to grow intentionally into the full bloom of the Mother archetype, we must first heal the Wounds of the Maiden, which in today’s world, none of us are exempt from.

Integrate your shadow, wield your magic, own your power, and rise into your fullest self. 

Goddesses – we are in a season of humanity where we are focused on building deeper layers beyond the material realm and what the eye can see.

We are creating more depth, more richness, and more wildness in our movement through the world.

We are not one-dimensional images of what womanhood “should” be.

We are more than the stunted, suppressed, idealized versions depicted in media and exalted by the Wounded Masculine energy parading in the patriarchy.

We must venture into the underworld and retrieve our shadow in order to create from a space of Wholeness rather than from the wounds of the Maiden. 

Embrace your Inner Goddess and come back to the magic and intuition that lives within you. 

Open yourself to the Divine to allow inspiration to come through. You are a channel for divinity and creation.

Heal your internal space by holding your shadow with loving kindness, gentleness, and patience.

It is time to do the shadow work and now is the season for closing out old patterns and cycles. 

Examine any limiting beliefs around financial freedom, worth and value, career vs purpose, selling yourself short. With compassion, hold yourself accountable for how you are contributing to your patterning. 

When we heal our Maiden and harness her wild magic, we can begin to transform into the rich abundance of the Mother.

The first step to this transformation is to awaken to the truth of what it means to be a woman, and to stop identifying with the programming we have been fed.

Only then, can the journey of the Goddess truly begin.

4 Ways For How To Heal The Relationship With Your Inner Child

In my last post, we talked about what Inner Child healing is and where it comes from. (You can read more about that here.)

I’d like to share with you guys someone very special to me today…

Meet my Inner Child – that’s right, this special someone, is in fact, my own dang adorable self!

Here is little baby Grace, approximately 3 years of age… Who would have thought this tiny bundle of mischief would be running her own coaching practice as an adult?!

When I first started my own Inner Child work as part of my healing journey before bringing it into my coaching practice, I had a difficult time being kind to my child self. 

What helped me to heal my internal dialogue with my Inner Child was carrying a picture of my child self and envisioning this part of myself when doing the work.

It’s far too easy to become detached from our Inner Child self when it is an intangible, amorphous idea, rather than a precious small child we can actually visualize and see.

If you’re like me and have a hard time initiating a healing process with a part of you that you cannot see, it may be worth it to carry around a physical or digital photo of your childhood self to assist on your journey.

This way, you know exactly who you are working together with during this healing experience.

So, how exactly do we start this process of healing the relationship with our Inner Child? 

Here are four tried and true methods I’ve used in my coaching practice as well as along my own journey that can help you connect deeply with your Inner Child to cultivate healing of childhood wounds, and to allow the magic of your radiant, creative child self to shine through!

1. Inner Child Meditation 

Visualize your child self and notice the age you are, the emotions you feel, the environment you are in. When any memories surface, dive into them if you feel safe to do so and practice observing your child self in the experience with loving kindness and compassion. Bring awareness to the dominant emotions of this child’s experience and any thought patterns that may arise. 

Diving into this style of meditation can feel rather daunting if you’ve never done it before, especially for those of us with very painful childhood memories.

Enlisting the expertise of a coach, therapist, or other trusted practitioner can be incredibly beneficial, especially to create a safe container for working through traumatic experiences.

You can also use a guided meditation, there is a plethora available on YouTube and other platforms. 

For those of us who may be more practiced in the art of Inner Child Work, you may want to accompany your child self as your current adult self throughout these meditations.

One of my favorite questions to ask clients during this process is “What does your child self need from you in this moment that they never received?” You can then create the opportunity to give that experience to your Inner Child during meditation to close out the experience. 

2. Journaling Through The Voice Of Your Inner Child

Creating a regular practice of journaling through various emotional states through the voice of your child self is particularly beneficial for those of us who find it challenging to experience and regulate our emotions.

As children, we do not come into the human experience knowing how to regulate our own nervous systems, and thus we rely on our caregivers to teach us how to do so. Some parents do a better job of this than others based on what their own experiences and capabilities are. 

You may want to settle into the journaling process by taking a few deep, belly breaths and allowing your Inner Child to come forth in your mind. 

When we tap into this part of ourselves, we encourage our most vulnerable emotions to be revealed to us, particularly if we are accustomed to suppressing, rejecting, and denying our own emotions because this is what we learned.

We may even be doing this with so-called “positive” emotions such as joy, curiosity, and love. 

Invite yourself to be uncensored in this process and let this process be a safe space for you to express freely. Allow yourself to fully feel whatever comes up for you, whether they are “negative” or “positive” emotions, and let the ink fly!

3. Reparenting Your Inner Child

While the reparenting process may sound rather obscure and abstract at first, it becomes second-nature with practice and patience. It does however require awareness of the internal experience of your Inner Child. 

A helpful place to start is to bring gentle awareness to the internal world throughout the day. 

What are you feeling? What thoughts are running through your mind? How are you speaking to yourself?

A client I worked with faced many challenges relating to the internal dialogue he had with himself. When his Inner Child would experience a less desirable “negative” emotion such as sadness or anger, both of which are valuable messengers from our bodies, his default reaction would be to criticize and invalidate his own emotions.

Because we internalize the voices we heard most as children, as adults we now recreate these voices and often inflict abuse upon ourselves. 

Through the reparenting process, he was able to compassionately acknowledge and validate his emotions.

By changing the voice of his internal authority figure, he was able to heal the relationship between this part of himself and his Inner Child. This made it safer for him to experience his varying emotional states and gave him valuable information for how to move through the world. 

Treat your Inner Child and meet their needs in the way you would have wanted when you were younger.

Speak to yourself with kindness, be patient with your process, create structure and discipline where necessary, and learn how to best care for yourself. 

4. Create And Play As Your Inner Child

Make art, dance, sing, run around in nature, let yourself be wild and free! 

As we journey through life as adults, so many of us lose the spark of vitality and wonder we all have as children. We actively suppress or dissociate from the creative, playful nature that is integral to the human incarnation.

Yet again, we perpetuate what we have been taught. 

As children, we are often taught to grow up, to focus on the future, to stop being such a  child. It becomes second nature for us to play this narrative on repeat in our minds like a broken record player.

Little do we know, most adults haven’t evolved beyond childhood emotional maturity, and yet, the beautiful parts of being a child are things we actively resist and reject! 

Take some time to reflect on what you really loved doing as a child. Make a promise to yourself to create a regular practice of doing that thing as part of your self care and allow yourself to be fully immersed in it. 

Inner Child Work isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, though that is certainly an integral part of the process. Sometimes it can be dark, and scary. Sometimes it can be disheartening and painful.

All of us on this human journey have experienced childhood trauma. This is a part of the current initiation process on Earth that shows us where our gifts truly lie. 

It is all too easy to get stuck in despair and shadow, so we must actively choose to step out of the role of the victim and into a more empowered state.

The power to decide lies with you, and you alone.

If you’re going to choose to do the nitty gritty work, you may as well have some fun along the way, take a lesson from childhood and play! 

What Is Inner Child Work?

If you are immersed in any kind of self development and healing work, chances are you’ve come across the concept of Inner Child Work. To those of us who are unfamiliar with this practice, it can sound rather woo-woo and mystifying to be working with some obscure facet of our personality we may not be fully aware even exists. 

Along my earlier journey, I had no concept of what the Inner Child even was, let alone any depth of understanding as to how my Inner Child was stealthily running the show from behind the scenes of my subconscious programming.

I was sleep-walking through life while my Inner Child was secretly puppeteering me in nearly every facet of life with the strings of my unresolved childhood trauma. 

Inner Child Work stems from the 12 Archetypes of Jungian psychology, each of the 12 archetypes representing universal characters that reside within the collective unconscious. These 12 main archetypes embody traits that show where our subconscious behavioral patterns and motivations stem from.

We all have these archetypes embedded in our psyches that show up by acting internally or externally through us based on the experiences we encounter. 

The concept of the Inner Child comes from the Innocent Archetype. This archetype is the epitome of wholesomeness, purity, and optimism.

As with anything, there is also the Shadow side of this archetype in which they can avoid seeing the reality of a situation, other people, and themselves in favor of viewing life through idealism-tinted glasses. 

Patterns of behavior stemming from the Inner Child are driven by programming we received in childhood due to how we were raised, the kind of love we received, and unresolved trauma still lingering in the subconscious mind and the resulting build up of that emotional data stored in our energetic auric fields.  

I recently worked with a client who was plagued by people pleasing tendencies to the point of not being able to determine if her behavior was truly in alignment with her highest good or if it was to placate the perceived demands of others around her. 

She had a pattern of choosing romantic patterns that reflected back to her the same emotional unavailability she experienced in the relationship with her father.

When forming connections with women, she habitually fawned over them upon first getting to know them by fixating on only their good qualities, and when their less desirable qualities came to light, these women fell from the pedestal she placed them on and she would reject them entirely. 

Through the process of working with this client’s Inner Child, we discovered that her mother was incredibly domineering and often would pit her against her sisters, creating a family culture of a competition-based method of relating. As an adult forming friendships with other women, she perpetuated these inherited beliefs by taking on her mother’s voice and initially hyper-focusing on all the qualities she admired about these women. 

This perpetuated a cycle of not feeling good enough and brought up feelings of insecurity and shame that continued to dwell within her Inner Child. At this point in the cycle, she once again adopted her mother’s critical voice towards her child self and would lash out at her female friends as her mother had done to her in childhood. 

When we encounter patterns of behavior in our lives that seemingly perpetuate themselves, the root often stems from the scared, wounded little kid that still resides within us.

We do everything in our power to get the love we need and act out our childhood traumas in covert ways. It can be a bit frightening to recognize that most of our behaviors do not stem from a space of awareness and conscious choice, but rather from a place of recreating what we have always known. 

The beautiful thing about this realization is this – once we become aware of this hurt Inner Child running the show from backstage, we have the power to engage with this part of ourselves for deeper understanding, awareness, acceptance, and healing.

There is no right or wrong way to do Inner Child work.

In both my personal healing journey as well as in my coaching practice, this work is done through many different modalities such as a meditation connecting with your child self, becoming aware of how your Inner Child acts when triggering and reparenting this part of yourself, journaling through the voice of your Inner Child, taking yourself on a play date – just to name a few!

This work then opens the opportunity to create some very real, powerful change for how we want to move through the world going forward. 

Finding Forgiveness Through Inner Child Meditation

This is what no one tells you about meditation. 

Some days are going to suck. It’s not all going to be rainbows and butterflies, mountains and peace, rivers and joy.

My meditation this morning made me weep… like actually bawl and release a flood of giant anime-like tears that you only see in Studio Ghibli movies. 

I had just finished my yoga practice, and went to lay down on my mat. Feeling all zoned out and relaxed, I expected to have a peaceful meditation… but no. 

My Inner Child had different plans for me.

I was walking through the forest when I saw her standing in the distance, waiting for me with arm outstretched and palm open. As I met her hand with mine, she led me through the brush to a mountain with an ornate wooden door embedded into the rocks. 

As I pushed the door open, I was greeted by the people who have hurt me in the past.

Immediately, feelings of pain, fear, and anger welled up in my chest. 

In the middle of the cavern in between me and the people I had not yet fully forgiven, was a column of vibrant, green light. Drawn in like a moth to a flame, I stepped into the embrace of this healing light. 

I watched as my child self, no older than three years old, stepped up to each of my transgressors. As she looked into the eyes of each, they transformed into small children.

And I was able to see the pain they, too, held. 

I was able to see the ex who broke my heart by cheating on me – a small child dealing with a mother addicted to heroin who let his pain leak onto me because he had not healed.

I was able to see my grandpa who recently passed who made me feel like my emotions were bad by knocking me on the head when I was being “too much” – a small child who had grown up in oppressive communist China which very different values, who hadn’t healed his heart from the physical and emotional abuse he endured. 

I was able to see the men who violated my body – small children so stripped of their own power that they had to take it from someone else to feel enough, rather than reclaiming their own healing.

The tears came like an exorcism of all the pain I’ve held onto in my life as I watched my child self step up to each of these hurting, broken children and hug them tightly, wiping away their own tears and gently kissing their wounds. 

She came to me to be comforted for being so brave in the face of a very scary process of understanding and forgiveness. 

I held her close, as she sobbed, whispering how beautiful she is and how brave her heart is. The green light swirled around us until it entered both our hearts like a wave of fresh air.

And I felt so free.

You see, forgiveness is not about excusing people for how they hurt you or saying that what they did was okay or right. 

It is not about absolving them of their wrongs or condoning their harmful behavior.

Forgiveness is choosing to let go of your own pain and loving yourself enough to release what’s still keeping you stuck. 

And it only happens when you’re ready.

If we don’t heal our own wounds, we will continue to leak that pain onto everyone around us. 

The cycle of hurt continues until someone is brave enough to stop it by feeling it, healing it, and releasing it.

So yes, meditation can sometimes suck. 

Meditation can be painful. There are days where it feels like your heart is being ripped from your chest as you release decades worth of pain and suffering. 

And yet, this is the beauty of the practice. 

Because I am able to hold space for my own pain, to love myself fully in all my forms, and show up courageously, I can extend this same presence to the others and the world.

The journey always starts within. 

And no one promised that this journey would be easy, just that it would be worth it because the treasures we find in the healing are priceless.

And they are YOURS. 

Are you ready to claim your healing?

3 Pranayama Breathwork Practices For Anxiety & Stress

Do you ever take notice of your breath throughout the day? For those of us who struggle with anxiety and regulating our fight or flight response – this is life changing!

For most of us, our breathing tends to be erratic and shallow, with different situations affecting our breath patterns. High pressure situations will tend to speed up your breath. 

Different mental states are connected to their own breathing patterns.

In breathing purposefully and with mindful intention, we can induce stillness and clarity to the mind and begin to direct our energy in a desired manner. 

All the body systems are interconnected in a divinely complex way we are just beginning to grasp.

Pranayama is a Sanskrit word meaning extension of the prana, or the practice of breath control. This is an essential yogic practice that originates from ancient India.

Pranayama (breathwork) is a practice that is built over time with patience and understanding. 

Life stressors active the sympathetic nervous system – the fight, flight, freeze response. This is our bodies’ way of coping with stress. 

We can activate the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest response) by tapping into diaphragmatic breathing. 

The vagus nerve is the main influencer of the PNS and manages the nervous system response and reduces the heart rate. 

When we activate the vagus nerve through conscious breath – a neurotransmitter called acetylcholine is released, which lowers anxiety and increases focus and calmness. 

The more you are able to stimulate the vagus nerve, the more acetylcholine is released, and the greater effect it has on reducing anxiety. 

So, in other words, through consciously breathing – we can drastically improve our ability to cope with anxiety. How wild is that?!

Here are my top 3 favorite breathwork techniques:

🔥Belly Breathing – breathing deeply into the belly first, and then expanding the upper lungs outward and upward.

✅If you’re a beginner to conscious breathing, it can help to lay on your back and place a hand on your belly. As you breath, focus on pushing your hand up. 

🔥4-7-8 Breathing – inhale fully for a count of 4, hold the breath for 7, exhale slowly for 8

✅This technique is akin to a nervous system reset and is particularly useful in lowering anxiety, managing anger responses, and falling asleep quicker.

🔥Ujjayi (Ocean) Breathing – with a gentle restriction at the back of the throat, inhale fully and exhale completely through the nose, creating an ocean wave-like sound

✅It helps to imagine fogging up a bathroom mirror with the breath but with the lips closed. This will create that restriction at the back of the throat.

✅As you go deeper into the breathwork practice, see if you can draw out the breath to be longer and slower with each cycle. 

👉🏻For more info on pranayama, comment “YES” on this post. 

TLDR; Breathing cures anxiety, cuz science. 

Breathe easy, my friends! 

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth2021

How Morning Pages Helped Heal My Mental Health

Stream of consciousness journaling changed my life, and it will change yours too. 

I first started this practice back in 2016 upon reading Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way. I desperately needed tools to begin healing my relationship with my mental health.

Julia Cameron talks about using the Morning Pages – 3 pages stream of consciousness journaling first thing in the morning – as a way to clear the mental clutter for the day to tap into greater creative potential.

At first, I was skeptical – Three whole pages every day? What on earth would I write about? And was this really going to work?

At that point in my life, I was still on most of my medications, “treating” various mental health ailments. The thought of stream of consciousness writing – basically vomiting all the thoughts I had onto paper – was truly terrifying.

I had a major resistance to seeing what truly went on in the maze of chaos I called my mind. 

I let this resistance stop me for several months, before finally committing myself to the promise of self healing. I was going to need all the help I could get in tapering off the rest of my medications.

After several weeks of journaling every morning – I began to notice how cyclical and repetitive most of my thoughts were. I was complaining and fearful about the same damn things. 

After several months, my thought and behavioral patterns became very clear. I was allowing my self abusive speak and fearful complaints run my life and dictate how I would show up to each day. 

“I am so tired.”

“I feel so anxious, I don’t want to leave my bed today.”

“ I can’t do (thing I want to do), because (insert excuse here).”

Sound familiar?

A major pivot in my mental health game was when I began to actively challenge these intrusive thoughts through my journaling. When a negative thought would spill from my pen, I’d immediately reframe it with a better perspective.

And my challenges began to turn into my blessings. 

This kind of journaling was such a helpful tool for me because I could see all my thoughts in tangible form. Rather than being some amorphous demon that I couldn’t see, my mind became something I could hold, and therefore begin to retrain.

It allowed me to become painfully aware of all the limiting beliefs, self defeating thoughts, and emotional triggers and patterns that needed healing.

In any change we desire to make in life, awareness is the first step. 

We must first become very clear on what we are doing that isn’t working. And from there, we can discern what changes are necessary and how to get there.

The Morning Pages can essentially become free therapy, in which you play the role of both patient and therapist. And for me, having unsuccessfully tried many avenues of therapy – this was perfect. 

After all, no one had more intimate access to the true state of my mental health than me. I was claiming sole responsibility and ownership of healing my mental dis-ease. 

This is when I began to make leaps and bounds in my personal development game.

Legendary creators like Alicia Keys (singer-songwriter), Martin Scorsese (film director, producer, screenwriter), Tim Ferriss (Author of The Four Hour Workweek), and Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of Eat, Pray, Love) all swear by the Morning Pages in being huge contributors to their creative process.

But you don’t have to just take it for face value and believe my own experience or those of the mega-creators I mentioned above.

Try this powerful process for yourself!

I invite you to start a 7 day challenge with starting your own Morning Pages practice. 

✅ Comment “I’M IN!” on this post and I’ll send you free info on the morning pages. 

You are worth the time. You are worth the energy. You are worthy of your own love and devotion. 

And let’s face it, no matter who we are or where we stand, we could all use a little extra care with our mental health. 

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth

Get at me privately by using my contact form at https://lotusawareshare.wordpress.com/home/contact/

Or email me directly at lotuscoaching13@gmail.com

My Mission For Mental Health Awareness Month 2021

If you’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness (either by a professional or by Dr. Interwebs) – then I’ve got a secret to tell you that you didn’t know about yourself.

You’ve got a super power. 

I know, I know. It sounds pretty ludicrous, but hear me out! 

Back in the days of old, long before the Books of Face and the Grams of Insta…

There were roles in tribal style communities that relied on intuition, spiritual attunement, high levels of sensitivity to stimuli, and the ability to deeply feel. 

These roles included medicine men and women, shamans, seers/prophets, herbalists, ceremonial leaders, mystics, lore-keepers/storytellers, dream interpreters, and artists of all kinds – just to name a few!

The root cause for much of the mental dis-ease prevalent today is not because there is something inherently wrong with or broken about you. 

This form of illness comes instead from seeing the reality of the world we live in today, and not being able or willing to tolerate and/or fit into it. 

Add underneath that the traumas we’ve all endured during childhood, gifts that we were taught are not valuable, and we’ve got the perfect breeding ground for the pandemic of mental dis-ease that we see today.

20% of people in America alone have some form of mental “illness”. 

This isn’t because we’re all crazy or we just happened to inherit some fucked up genes. 

It is because we live in a profoundly ill culture that has eliminated (or at the very least vastly inhibited) important community roles that utilize the function of the right brain – the creative, intuitive part of the brain.  

To quote Krishnamurti – “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

But, who am I to be talking about mental illness and why should anyone pay attention?

As someone who has:

✅Been diagnosed with five different mental health disorder labels

✅Lived through the ins and outs of the entire mental illness system

✅Undergone 15 rounds of electroconvulsive (electroshock) “therapy”

✅Successfully tapered herself off of a cocktail of 8 medications

✅Self healed to a point where I am no longer defined by any mental health diagnoses 

One could say I’ve experienced the world of mental illness very up close and personally. 

And I’ve got some things to share with those of us who have been in a similar boat.

In honor of Mental Health Awareness month, for the month of May I will be sharing my own mental health journey, the insights and tools I’ve acquired along the way, and a gentle reframe of our current approach to and understanding of mental health. 

As a coach, I extend the invitation to you to interact with any of the topics I’ll be covering this month and to reach out privately if you need a nonjudgmental, safe space to be seen and heard. 

With love, may you remember that you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. And you are a gift to the world who has not discovered yourself… 

Yet.

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth

Get at me privately by using my contact form at https://lotusawareshare.wordpress.com/home/contact/

Or email me directly at lotuscoaching13@gmail.com

My 30 Day Journey With A Morning Routine

For the first time in my life, I made a 30 day, nonnegotiable commitment to myself. This coming from a person who falters even committing to a too long series on Netflix.

Today marks the completion of this 30 day journey.

My 30 day commitment was to my morning ritual – yoga practice, meditation, and gratitude journaling.

I have of course honored commitments before. The difference was that these commitments were to an external source where there was built in accountability.

This time, the only one to hold myself accountable was myself. And boy was that a terrifying thing!

In the past, I’ve incorporated morning rituals into my life, but never as a daily practice. I would allow external circumstances and my internal state to dictate whether or not I actually showed up for myself. 

In my mind, this inconsistency was justified as self love – allowing wiggle room for the days that I “couldn’t” do the thing. 

When in actuality, this was simply a story I was telling myself. I had convinced myself that my desire to show up fully for myself was entirely conditional. 

I didn’t commit to loving myself and showing myself care in the way I know I need. 

Before embarking on this journey, I knew that this time would be different. 

And so I hesitated for months, questioning if this was a commitment I “could” keep or if it was something that I would abandon on a whim.

I made excuse after excuse as to why I wasn’t ready, or why it wasn’t healthy to be so rigid if I wanted to come more into my feminine energy. 

The final straw was the recent passing of my dear Grandpa, and I spiraled into a depression deeper than I have felt in many years. 

I had a choice to make. 

I could allow myself to be consumed by the depression by doing nothing, laying in bed, escaping through Netflix, isolating, and binging on snacks. (And admittedly, this is exactly what I did for the first week of the grieving process.)

Or I could choose to do something different this time. 

I knew that if I was going to dig myself through this depression and come out the other side, I would need to make a change and take action to claim sovereignty over my energetic state. 

What I came to realize was that in committing to this journey, I would have to actively choose to make it so. It was not something that I could show up to passively. 

This time, I had to actually love myself enough to honor the promises I made with myself. I had to love myself enough to be disciplined in talking myself into showing up on the mat even when I “didn’t feel like it”. 

You see, self love isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It isn’t just the bubble baths, following your joy, and sleeping in. 

It is all those things, AND also choosing to make the challenging decisions in the present that will build you a future you thrive in.

Self love is incomplete without discipline. 

Yeah, I said what I said.

In completing this 30 day journey, I feel more in alignment with myself than ever. I have proven to myself that I CAN do anything I commit to, even if it is challenging. 

I have cultivated an even deeper relationship with myself based on self trust, mastery, accountability, love, and understanding. 

And in doing so, my Heart is opening even more to the magic within me and around me. As my Heart opens more to myself, it also opens more to others – and I am able to show up more fully for everyone around me. 

This little experiment with commitment has changed my life! And if you’ve made it to the end of this post, I know it can do the same for you.

I’ll be continuing on with my morning ritual journey and continue to show up fully in my practice of self mastery. And I’ll be embracing every state of being along the way with gratitude. 

If you’re curious about how to start your own 30 day commitment, shoot me a message and let’s talk self love together! 

Coping With The Loss Of My Grandfather

My grandpa was fucking awesome. 

He moved on from this life earlier this week at the ripe old age of 90. 

Witnessing and feeling into his suffering while being completely powerless to take his pain away was the hardest part of the week leading up to his death.

I’ve never as actively engaged with grief as openly and willingly as I have with this current experience with death, and the learnings have been many, with more sure to come.  

When our human vessels age, dealing with ailing health for many years is often an accepted part of the human experience. With the way we as a collective currently live life, it makes sense that the end of life is commonly accompanied with dis-ease and suffering. 

Losing a grandparent in particular can be so difficult because we tend to trivialize the death with thoughts like,

“They lived a long life.” 

“It was their time.”

“At least they’re not suffering anymore.“

And while these may all be true, it does not make the loss any less significant. It does not make the grief any easier to bear. 

We sometimes invalidate, deny, and reject our own realities, especially if we were taught that emotions are weakness and are still learning to hold our own emotional experiences with kindness and love. I’ve witnessed this in myself, as well as with loved ones and clients. 

When the days are darkest, it is the easiest to revert to old emotional and cognitive patterning – a small, familiar comfort amidst a sea of change and grief. It takes many tiny decisions of active self love and remembering to practice all the tools you’ve learned and choose to use them as often as you are able in order to maintain some semblance of stability. 

My default programming has been to invalidate the shit out of my own emotional states. 

After 5 years of active self healing, rewriting old belief systems, learning how to emotionally process and regulate, and 18 months of coaching clients to do the same, when the going gets tough, I still have a challenging time with this. 

I still falter, I still revert to old patterning, I still need more practice with the tools I’ve been acquiring.

And the practice is always most imperative when the weather has knocked the wind from your sails. This is also when it is the most difficult to do. 

This is a testing ground to see how much we’ve truly grown. 

It’s all well and good to do the meditation, gratitude, breath work, yoga, journaling, creating, connecting, healthful eating when everything is bright and sunny. But can we do it when we need ourselves to the most? 

We can choose to self isolate, to ignore the signs from our bodies, to indulge in distraction. 

We can choose to numb it and escape it with food, with sex, with Netflix. We can choose to exacerbate it by feeding into the damaging self speak, cyclic thoughts and emotional patterns. We can attempt to control what happened by placing blame, on self or external circumstances. 

That’s all okay too, it’s all a part of the process. It’s human to falter, to be thrown off course. It may even be a necessary part of the journey. 

Just don’t choose to stay there. Take as long as you need to process, to express and release, to mourn. And then when you’re ready – course correct. 

When we decide to feel our grief, to remember who we are and the wisdom we all hold, we must embrace every aspect of this feeling experience. To hold it with gentleness and patience. 

The grieving will ebb and flow, with some days being easier than others. Sadhguru taught that death is challenging for the living because of the hole in our lives that was creating by the loved one leaving. 

It will take time to fill that hole. And during this time, we will learn new strengths, discover more about ourselves, get checked hard by reality, laugh, cry, and experience every emotion on the spectrum. 

There is no right way to grieve. We simply mourn as we do. We do the best we can with what we’ve got. And that is enough. 

Let us do ourselves a favor by being understanding and kind with ourselves. Let us not make this process any more painful by forcing ourselves into a box of what we think grief should be and feel like. 

Death is a masterful and formidable teacher in the school of life. None of us are exempt from learning the lessons only death can teach. 

And in the most challenging of lessons, the greatest treasures are discovered. 

Hold on to your horses fam, we’re leveling up again. 

Wisdom From The Crone

My Crone has been speaking to me lately – she’s the wizened, future me in her late 50’s – early 60’s. Silver-haired and wrinkled with wisdom. She reminds me to take it easy. She shows me how abundant she is –

And how abundant I already am. 

I’ve been able to tap more into that future self in this past year. Not so able to see the surrounding circumstances, but rather, channeling how I feel in the future. As if  everything I’m desiring and co-creating is already here. And that’s when I realize, it already is. 

I just need to keep doing the work. 

plant by ariari is licensed under CC | Source

You see, even plants have a season of underground growth. 

You’re digging through the mud, working your way towards the light, getting dirty in all the shadow work, mastering your craft, learning new skills, having the ugly cries. 

The wisdom of the Crone is that everything happens in cycles and seasons. 

There are times of expansion AND contraction. Both are necessary just as the breath comes with inhales and exhales. 

And when you pay extra close attention, you’ll start to notice, that each time you contract, the following expansion opens you even wider – to love, to bliss, to peace, to purpose, to new growth sure to come. 

There is a time to sow and a time to reap. 

plant by Yamanaka Tanaki is licensed under CC | Source

Don’t get down on yourself during the times of underground growth, where you’re busting your ass, you’re not seeing tangible results, where you’re reassessing and learning – these are the times to be kind with yourself. 

Be gentle in how you hold yourself. 

Don’t let your outcome define your self worth. Don’t let who you are become attached to what you do. 

If part of your inner work right now is to come into a place of emotional and relational harmony with yourself, then we must learn how to unhook ourselves from the cycle of emotional rollercoastering. (That’s right, I just made rollercoastering a word.)

In fact, you’re already doing just that aren’t you? That’s why you’re here. Be patient with this part of the process. 

This is the season when you’re learning resilience in every sense of the word. 

5 Tips For How To Master Self Love

In a culture where we’re taught to conform and receive massive amounts of conditioning and programming, self love is a concept that seems elusive to many of us. Although self love is rapidly gaining traction, exactly how to put this into practice can still feel like a dog chasing his tail.

Continue reading 5 Tips For How To Master Self Love

13 Things To Leave Behind In 2018

The end of the year signals the release of what is no longer serving us in order to welcome in the new possibilities, opportunities, and adventures of the upcoming year. Just as when decluttering our homes, we must clear space in our lives, minds, and hearts to bring in the new.

Continue reading 13 Things To Leave Behind In 2018

7 Tips For How To Survive The Holidays

The holidays are a magical time of year. People are more filled with cheer. Love and peace are in the air. Maybe it’s all the Christmas blitzkrieg propaganda we are fed through advertising or maybe we should credit the drugs pumped through our air systems – possible? I kid on the latter, folks.

Continue reading 7 Tips For How To Survive The Holidays

Top 9 Documentaries To Watch If You’re Curious About Going Vegan Or Vegetarian

So you’re curious about going vegetarian or even vegan? Whether this is due to personal health reasons, wanting to do your part in preserving our environment, or animal rights, this documentary list has got something for everyone!

Continue reading Top 9 Documentaries To Watch If You’re Curious About Going Vegan Or Vegetarian

3 Ways To Find Your Focus

Friday, oh glorious Friday!

For most of us, Friday symbolizes all that is free and good left in the world – it marks the triumphant (albeit exhaustive) end of the day-in-day-out tedious drudgery of the work week.

Friday is the day we are able to collectively stick it to the man, shouting with exuberance, “You don’t own me anymore! …At least not until Monday.”

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7 Therapy Alternatives For The Creative Mind

We all encounter moments in life where our emotions and thoughts may become overwhelming. Our mind can begin to swirl with ruminating thoughts and we can feel the emotions running rampant throughout our body.

For some of us, these tumultuous states seem to appear more often than not (shoutout to my fellow anxiety-prone friends) and often, we are at a loss for how to stop these energies from taking over our day.

Continue reading 7 Therapy Alternatives For The Creative Mind