The end of the year signals the release of what is no longer serving us in order to welcome in the new possibilities, opportunities, and adventures of the upcoming year. Just as when decluttering our homes, we must clear space in our lives, minds, and hearts to bring in the new.
At the close of 2018, a year of trials, successes, and abundant lessons learned from the multitude of retrogrades this year, take a few moments to reflect on how far you’ve come. Consider what you’d like from the year to come, and what you’d like to leave in 2018. Set an intention for 2019, perhaps write a list of goals you’d like to accomplish, write a list of what you are releasing and letting go of.
For anyone looking to follow through on a New Year’s Resolution, check out my post 8 Ways To Make Your New Year’s Resolution Stick.
Here’s a few suggestions of things we can all choose to leave behind in 2018.
Any regret of what we did or conversely, what we could not do only serves to inhibit our growth and the new things we want to accomplish in 2019.
With the new year (and with each new day) we are blessed with a fresh opportunity to do all we want to do! This is an amazing gift. Invite in only energy that serves you be releasing any regret and guilt over the past. Focus on the Now.
2. Toxic Relationships
Relationships, be they platonic, romantic, or familial, all have the ability to be toxic and keep us trapped in a vicious cycle of strife, grief, and self deprecation. These relationships often come with impossibly high highs, and devastating lows. As people we have left in the past try to return, we must make the commitment to ourselves to no longer allow this kind of energy back into our lives.
Sometimes we need to clear out the cobwebs in our lives in order to make space for new things to enter. When situations and relationships no longer serve us, perhaps they’ve grown toxic or simply no longer resonate because we’ve grown so much, it is okay to leave the situation or let them fall away.
When we do allow these toxic energies back into our lives, we are signaling to the Universe that we want more of this kind of energy. Do yourself a favor and save yourself the same kind of drama in 2019. Our lives only change when we change. And when we change, the people we allow into our lives also changes.
It is necessary to cut away the things negatively impacting our lives as we recognize that we no longer want these people and circumstances to hinder us. When we clear out these energies, we find that there is so much more room to welcome in people and situations better suited for us! So do your part by cutting the necessary ties (you know which ones), and the Universe will do the rest!
3. Old Patterns
Make a commitment to yourself to release old patterns that are keeping you stuck. Perhaps it’s reacting to situations in anger, judging yourself and others, or binge eating to fill emotional holes. Only you know what these are.
When we realize old patterns are no longer serving us, but are rather stunting our growth, we then have the option to make the conscious decision to release them. This takes practice, time, and dedication – it certainly isn’t a one and done type of deal.
With the right amount of effort, self exploration, and unconditional love, we can break these patterns and replace them with ones that are in alignment with who we are and can better serve us.
4. Past Mistakes
We’ve all made questionable decisions in the past that have caused ourselves and others pain. Some of us have a difficult time forgiving ourselves for past transgressions and carry the weight of our guilt for years.
The important thing is to acknowledge that yes, we’ve made a mistake or bad decision that we now regret, however nothing we do in the present can change what’s past. Making a mistake and hurting someone does not define who you are as a person. Now is the time to release your suffering and forgive yourself.
If you can apologize, do so sincerely and accept whatever reaction you may receive. Remember we know now what we didn’t know then and have changed and grown as people. Forgiveness is a crucial part of loving yourself. Now that we know better, we can vow to do better. Be gentle with yourselves beloved.
5. Self Doubt
The relationship we have with ourselves radiates our into every aspect of our lives. If we want our lives to improve, we must first focus on loving ourselves. Give yourself the unconditional love and acceptance you would give to your child self. Prioritize your wellbeing and healing over all else!
For anyone doubting themselves and their value and self worth – the Universe does not make mistakes and you are here for a reason. You are a unique child of the Universe and you DESERVE to be here.
6. Attachment To The Opinions Of Others
We must remind ourselves to take the word of naysayers with a generous grain of salt. No dream is too big, no progress is too small! Try to understand that those who only have words of criticism or discouragement are that way with themselves- their words speak about who they are, NOT who we are. What a painful existence that must be.
Let’s all strive to have a bit more compassion and understanding, even towards those who may make us feel hurt at times. Not necessarily for those people, but for us to see the situations for what they are and learn to detach our self worth from what others may think of us.
The only person who determines what is possible for you, is YOU! Who are other people to tell us what we’re capable of or not? We must understand that the limited ways in which others may see us have no bearing on what we are actually capable of. It is important to consider that others’ views of us are highly limited.
How then can anyone else truly know what greatness lies within us and what our true capabilities are? In these moments, we are reminded that our self worth is not defined by the opinions of others and is not contingent on anything but our existence. Only we can decide what is possible or impossible for us. After all, who knows you better than you?
7. Ignoring Your Intuition
Listen to that small voice that tells you when something doesn’t feel quite right or when it tells you to go for something huge! Many of us learn to disconnect and ignore our intuition in childhood. We can however choose to reconnect to this deeply magical internal guidance system of ours.
When you hear that little voice, take a pause and listen! Over time, we’ll find that our intuition grows stronger and is more willing to speak up.
8. Beating Yourself Up
We often are our own harshest critics and tend to penalize ourselves mercilessly for the one thing we failed to do rather than focusing on the many things we have already accomplished!
We get caught up in the mindset of comparison to others and judge our own progress based on where other people are on in their individual journeys. This is ludicrous! The very nature of each of our journeys is that they are unique. We must focus on competing only with our self defeating beliefs, detrimental habits, and negative thought processes.
Rather than worry about how slowly our progress is coming, let’s take each step minute by minute, day by day. Simply commit to doing your best today! And then continue to do that each day that follows. When we approach challenges in this manner, we start to discover that these changes are indeed doable!
Our greatest battles are often not with any external person or circumstance, but rather, with our own minds. Rather than responding defensively, instead review the pertinent information with an open mind and cast the ego aside. Pointing the finger in blame does not accomplish anything, and this includes blaming ourselves.
If the situation at hand is one that you can change or leave, take action! It’s incredible how much better we feel after doing what is within our power to do.
If we cannot change the external circumstances, it is time to perform a self calibration check and review your internal state. Try asking yourself how you can make adjustments to your attitude and mindset to not allow external events to govern your mental-emotional state.
10. The Victim Mindset
We can either let our life circumstances define us, OR we can take back our power and define our own lives. In every situation there is the opportunity to learn and grow. Often it is the challenging circumstances that lend the most to our self development. It all depends on how we approach it in the moment and what we CHOOSE to do in the aftermath.
What mindset are we adopting in the face of hardship? Pain wakes us up to what is not working in our lives. When we become conscious of it, we can decide what to do next.
When we are confronted with challenges and obstacles, it is easy to fall into the mindset of “why is this happening to me?” It is natural to wonder what the purpose of these struggles are! If we can realize that the Universe sends challenges our way in order to facilitate our growth, we can then start to develop the mindset that everything is happening FOR me, rather than happening TO me. This seemingly small yet important distinction bridges the gap between helplessness into empowerment.
We don’t get to choose the life we are born into, yes this is true. We may have inherited ancestral pain and family lines of abuse. We have all experienced traumas in our lives- such is the nature of living. The trouble comes when we falsely believe that our circumstances and life situations are preventing us from achieving all we want in life.
When we accept our struggle as permanent and unchanging, we stifle the parts of ourselves that are begging us to rise into our power. The glorious thing is: we get to decide what we do with the hands we are dealt.
Are you going to continue allowing your struggles to be excuses as to why you cannot live the life you want, OR are you going to use it to create your ultimate come back story? The choice is yours my friends.
11. Setting Limits For Yourself
We only grow when we challenge ourselves by venturing out of our comfort zones. When we challenge ourselves to do our best and push our limits, over time, we build endurance. Soon we will find that we can go further and harder than we have before! It all depends on how we choose to challenge ourselves in the present moment.
Each of us in childhood had a dream – perhaps it was to eat ice cream for breakfast, to make friends, or to become an astronaut. Somewhere along the road of growing up, we shrink our dreams until they become so small and even sometimes disappear. It can be hard to make our way back to the natural state of dreaming- the first phase of creation itself. Anything that exists must have been imagined and envisioned first.
We can start our return to this state of dreaming by focusing on the things we were drawn to and curious about in childhood. When you find yourself daydreaming, rather than jolting yourself out of it, consider going back to that state and actively participate in it. Don’t limit the size of your dreams, friends! When we achieve the first level of dreaming, we can then move into action.
We all have a well of limitless potential inside of us. However, like a sculptor with a block of unshaped marble with all the potential to become art, it is up to us to shape and mold ourselves.
We all have potential within us- the issue is, very few of us draw upon this internal well. Untapped potential itself cannot create the lives we desire. Only when we as the sculptors of our lives decide to utilize our full potential can we burst forth into incredible heights.
12. Lying And Being Inauthentic
By being true to our authenticity we attract the people and circumstances that are meant for us. However, true authenticity comes from being unashamed and 100% comfortable and honest with who we are.
This doesn’t mean that there isn’t growth we still strive for! Rather, that we acknowledge the changes we still desire to make AND unconditionally loving and accepting who we are now. When we become unabashedly ourselves and know who we are without doubt, we begin to find that authenticity with the external world comes more naturally!
As we journey further into our authenticity each day, we teach ourselves the unconditional love that perhaps we never learned as children. How good does it feel to be 100% unapologetically yourself?!
If you’ve forgotten to thank yourself today for all the growth you’ve been doing, this is your friendly reminder to take a moment and tell yourself how proud you are of your journey! Get ready for the next leg of this grand adventure.
13. Forgetting To Love Ourselves
Often times, it is not the obstacles ahead nor the distance that tire us out. It is, rather, the lack of self maintenance and care that grind us down. We tend to get drained and accumulate stresses – this is a natural thing!
The problem occurs when we don’t take care to recalibrate, and let the proverbial pebbles accumulate in our shoes. We come to find that when we do show ourselves diligent and UNCONDITIONAL love and care, the road ahead suddenly seems easier. When we are able to be our highest selves we find we can overcome any mountain!
Wishing Everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year!
What will you be leaving behind in 2018? Share your thoughts with me in the comments section below.
Header Image: compose by Lucy Maude Ellis is licensed under CC by ND 2.0; source.